It is has been a while since my last update and there has been a lot going on.
About three weeks ago, the organization HelpUsAdopt.org called us. This is the agency that is giving us a grant to help with the adoption costs. We have to send them monthly updates, letting them know where we are in the process of the adoption. I sent the first update email in February and with that the link to the blog. The phone call a few weeks ago, was in regards to a PR documentary video that is being compiled for the non-profit agency. We were asked to be part of the documentary! They would like us to share our story and what the adoption process has been like for us. I think this is going to be a fun and exciting experience. I received an email today about setting up the phone interview. This is to hear about our story and then we will set up a time for them to come out to the house and video tape us. If you would like our autograph just let me know. Once we have our 1 minute of fame we will be ….. the same. ha-ha 🙂 But it will be fun and make for a good story.
Two weeks ago we submitted to a birth mom who was having twins, a boy and a girl. She first networked with the agency Dec 11th but didn’t find a match, so was re-networked two weeks ago. She was looking for a “traditional couple”. I talked to our case manager and asked if there could be the possibility that we would be considered, especially since she didn’t match after two months. Turns out she truly only wanted a straight couples.
The adoption process is so frustrating for so many reasons. But to continue to hear about adoption situations where the birth parents are unable to take care of their kids but insist on either single woman or straight couples is probably the most frustrating. Brian and I have SO MUCH to offer our child, love values, knowledge, love, a caring community of family and friends and an abundance of LOVE!
After this submission didn’t work out, Brian and I had talked to our case manager, Kayla about our frustration with not finding matches and the agency not having birthmothers that are local. She understood our frustration. She turned us on to a closed adoption Facebook group. Brian and I both joined. It is a group of adoptive parents and agencies. The agencies post about children that are looking for homes and birthmothers that are looking to find adoptive parents. The adoptive parents, use the group to support each other, ask questions of each other and make any adoption scams known to others. I have signed up to get notifications on my phone each time a post is made, so I don’t miss any possible baby adoptions. This has been good, makes me feel like I am doing something to try and find you! At the it is bitter sweet getting so many notifications each day. There have been many posts lately saying “The wait is over”, “We have been matched”, “Our baby is due…” and so on. I am really happy for these couples but at the same time, it is stings as we continue to wait. Also looking over all that post and are connected on there, it seems like there are no other gay or lesbian couples connected to the group.
We received another email today about a birthmother.
New Birthmother Melissa is a 34 year old Caucasian woman from Des Moines, IA due with a Caucasian child any day now. Melissa thinks she may be pregnant with twins ( not sure, due to lack of prenatal care). The gender of this child or children is currently unknown. Melissa has blue eyes and red hair. The Birthfather in this situation is a Caucasian gentleman who will sign consents according to Melissa. She has 4 children, ages 3-12, who she does not parent. All of her children are said to be in good health. Melissa would like a closed adoption. The state of IA has terminated her rights on all her other children. She is “red flagged” meaning she will not be allowed to parent this child either. She would like to view profiles of all types of families.
The positives of this situation is that there wouldn’t be the change the birthmother would change her mind and take the baby back. The overall cost of the adoption is okay, not as high as most of the others. We would need to add airfare, car, hotel and food when we are out of state. With out of state adoptions, we are told we need to plan on being out of state for 10 days for the states work on the paperwork for the baby. The negatives are that the birthmom has engaged in drug and alcohol use. She has been diagnosed with anxiety (not concerned about) and addictions. There is also a second agency involved, which mean we are paying for two agencies.
When I talked to Kayla (case manager) she had her own unanswered questions on the situation and had me think about a few points that didn’t come to mind for me. I expressed to Kayla that as this process continues and with me coming off of a few days of feeling down, regarding the adoption, we were going to need her help in being objective and help us thoroughly think this situation through. We submitted our profile today, they are being overnighted to the birthmom and Kayla thinks she will hear something from the birthmom by the end of the weekend. Keep your fingers crossed!
babysedorwagner 