The Baby Wait

There is a new show on the Logo station, called The Baby Wait. It is about gay and lesbian couples who are going through the adoption process. Each episode starts at the point in the process where the couple is matched with the birth mother. The agency that we are using actually had a couple that did an episode for this show. The first episode just aired this week. The couple was Mark and Paul, who adopted Morgan from birth mother Genevieve. Genevieve was an 18 year old who was carrying her ex-boy friend’s baby. The father agreed to the adoption and didn’t want any contact. Genevieve decided that adoption was right for her and the baby, for she can’t financially take care of the child. She wanted to get her GED and go to college. Her parents were very supported and assisted her in staying the course of adoption because they knew it was the right path for their daughter and granddaughter.

The show was a look into the process and what we have to look forward to. The families were from Connecticut. In Connecticut, after the baby is born the birth mother has 48 hours with the baby before she can sign any paperwork. Then she has 30 days to change her mind and take the baby back. Watching and seeing the emotional struggles of the birth mother, to do what she knows is right for her and the baby, while coping with the loving feelings to be with and keep her baby, was very emotional for me. To really see and hear that struggle, and attach a face to a mother was very powerful. To see the fear and anxiety the adoptive parents experienced was also powerful. I could feel my chest tightening up, thinking about the possibility of having you in our life and knowing there is the chance you would be taken back, is painful to think about.

This process is so emotionally charging. It is very depressing at times. At times, I become overwhelmed with emotion and feeling that we are never going to find you. We have started putting your room together. The furniture has been moved out to make room for your crib and furniture. We are going to get carpet put into the room and we will have all your Winnie the Pooh stuff up really soon. I feel like we have been waiting forever for you and in reality it has been years! I want you here with us so badly right now! I am so tired of waiting for us to be brought together. I wish there is something I could do to make this go quicker.  I want to hold you in my arms, rock you to sleep at night, laugh and smile with you, have your tiny hand wrap around my finger. When you do find your way to us, it will be the best day of our lives.

Love you and can’t wait for us to be connected.